


Commitment Makes me Itchy

by Egobang_for_dayz



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Nothing on her i love her, One Shot, Suzy is with Barry in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 19:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12689034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egobang_for_dayz/pseuds/Egobang_for_dayz
Summary: Dan and Arin talk about moving in together, and Dan confronts his fear of commitment.





	Commitment Makes me Itchy

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! I had this idea cause i noticed a lot of fics had Dan and Arin fall in love and then magically Dan's commitment issues are fixed, but as someone who has commitment issues, I know it's not that easy. So I wanted to write something about the reality of fighting commitment issues. 
> 
> A lot of this is based on personal experience with commitment issues.

If a year ago someone had told Dan he would be in a long term relationship, with a man, and would be discussing moving in together, he would have laughed in their face.

But here he was, sitting in a restaurant across from his loving boyfriend. Arin had spent half an hour looking nervous and shifty until he had finally brandished a black velvet box. Dan had taken it from him, and in opening it up saw it was a key. A key to Arin's house. "Arin are you... are you asking me to move in with you?" Dan questioned, panic seeping slowly into his bones. Arin rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. Dan gasped and slammed the box shut again. "I.. I need time to think about this." Dan finally managed, speaking around the lump forming in his throat. Arin's face fell just slightly but he smiled again. 

"Yeah, of course. Take all the time you need." Arin spoke calmly, but his voice was tinted ever so slightly with hurt. Dan felt awful.

"Arin, baby, you know I love you so much. But this... this is huge. And You know I still struggle with commitment. I want to be over this for you, but i'm not yet. Please be patient with me. Please don't give up on me." Dan shut his eyes. This was it, he knew this was it. His commitment issues would make arin leave, and become some sick self fulfilling prophecy. He felt a hand on his and opened his eyes cautiously. Arin laced their fingers together and smiled as Dan met his eyes.

"I love you too Dan. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. I can be patient. We can work on this together. Let's start small, come stay the whole week." Arin suggested with a shrug. Dan contemplated it for a minute.

"Yeah, ok, let's give that a shot. But what if at the end of the week I still don't feel ready?" Dan didn't even want to ask, but he had to know. 

"That's ok. I can wait as long as it takes. I'll always stand by you." Arin pulled Dan's hand up to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to it. Would he be disappointed if Dan didn't want to move in with him? Sure. But he understood. Dan had been burned so many times before. It's only natural this scared him. Dan leaned across the table and gently kissed his boyfriend, murmuring that he loved him. 

\------

The following monday, two days after their initial conversation, Dan was sitting in his car in Arin's driveway. His duffel bag was in the back seat. He took several deep breaths to try to calm himself down. It was only a week. He could totally do this. But something in him was yelling for him to turn around, drive as far away as possible and never return. Most people would assume that those fears would be gone after being together for a year, but Dan's longest relationship had been two and a half years. Arin could realise at any point that Dan's random singing is annoying or he takes too long of showers and then Arin will kick Dan out, of his house, his life, his show, and Dan will be right back where he started before he moved to LA and he'll be just a broke sa-

Dan's racing thoughts were interrupted by Arin's front door opening. Dan took a deep breath and got out of his car to greet his boyfriend. He grabbed his duffel bag and made his way inside. Arin closed the door behind them. 

"Dude you were sitting in your car for like ten minutes, and you look like you're ready to bolt. You ok?" Arin asked, pulling Dan in for a hug. 

'Yeah, yeah. Just nervous." Dan answered into Arin's shoulder. He held tight for a moment, like releasing Arin would make all his fears come true and Arin would walk away from everything. They released and Arin led Dan by the hand to the bedroom. 

"I emptied a drawer for you to put your clothes in, and there's some space in the closet for you. Go ahead and get unpacked, I'm gonna make us some eggs." With that Arin left Dan to his own devices. Dan stared down at his duffel bag, contemplating. Unpacking his clothes felt so final, so real. He couldn't take that step yet. Instead, he slid his duffel bag under the bed, hoping Arin wouldn't notice that he hadn't unpacked. He went back downstairs to join his boyfriend in the kitchen. Arin finished making his standard breakfast of eggs and toast, dished up two plates and then sat down across from Dan at the dining room table, sliding one plate over to him. Dan thanked him and dug in. They ate in comfortable silence for a moment. Dan gathered their plates when they were done and took them to the sink to be washed. Arin disappeared upstairs to get dressed for the work day. When he returned, Dan was waiting for him by the door. They piled into Dan's car and headed off to the grump space.

\----

Dan and Arin were snuggled up on the grump couch under a blanket. They had just finished their session for the day. dan was curled up against arin's side, his head pillowed on the younger man's chest. Arin was absently running his fingers through dan's mess of curls. "So," Arin started "Why didn't you unpack your stuff this morning?" Dan froze. He had really hoped Arin wouldn't notice.

"I just.. it felt so final. It made everything real, and I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow, ok?" Dan couldn't look up at his boyfriend, too afraid of his reaction. All his life Dan had avoided situations just like this. He ran when things got complicated, he didn't know how to keep relationships alive. Besides being his first boyfriend, things with Arin were extremely new. He was so afraid of messing something up, of ruining everything. His relationship and his job were on the line with this. 

"Ok baby. Take all the time you need." Arin said sweetly, interrupted Dan's train of thought. Dan looked up, and saw all the warmth and adoration that was filling Arin's brown eyes, and he felt his chest seize up. He wasn't used to being looked at like that. "Should we go out to eat?" Arin suggested. Dan nodded, grateful for a little bit of normalcy and a chance to take his mind off things. He was also feeling the need to talk about everything with Brian.

"Totally, but I need to talk to Brian first. Give me half an hour?" Dan asked hopeful. Arin smiled and nodded, before kissing Dan. He patted the older man on the ass as Dan got up and left the room. 

Brian was sitting on the couch with his laptop on his lap, answering NSP emails. Dan dropped next to him unceremoniously. "Hello Daniel, whats up?" Brian asked, watching Dan carefully. He could tell something was going on, judging by the bags under his friend's eyes and the way his hair was dishevelled from hands running through it. 

"I need to talk to you about something, can we step outside?" Dan looked around the room to see if anyone was listening. No one was, everyone too absorbed in their own things, but he felt better checking anyway. Brian nodded and set his laptop to the side, shutting it. They walked out of the office. Dan turned to Brian, who was leaning against the outer wall of the office. "Arin asked me to move in with him."

Brian nodded with understanding. "That explains why you look ready to fucking bolt." Brian mused. Danny gave a playful roll of his eyes at how well his old friend knew him. 

"I don't know what to do Bri. We're doing a week trial, to get me used to the idea of living together. But it's so much more than that. If things go wrong, I'm out of a job, a house, everything. Not to mention losing one of the best people to walk into my life. There's so much at risk here, has been since we started dating. I don't keep relationships well. I don't stay well. I always mess things up. What if he gets tired of me after a while, or one day he wakes up and suddenly my singing is annoying, my alone time is selfish? What if one day all the things he says he loves about me piss him off? What if one day he realises that all of my flaws are just that, and he can't look past them?" Dan didn't realise he had tangled his hands nervously in his hair until Brian reached up and gently untangled them and brought his hands back down to his sides.

"Take a breath Danny. I have known you for a very long time. I've seen you in relationships before. I have NEVER seen you look at anyone the way you look at Arin. And I've never seen anyone look at you the way Arin does. You two have something special. I don't think things are gonna end the way your previous relationships have. You two already know everything there is to know about each other. Arin has shit himself on camera in front of you. He already knows all your flaws, all your habits. And you know his. Trust in your friendship, its a beautiful foundation for a relationship. Trust in yourself, you're older now. Wiser. I think you and Arin are gonna be just fine." Brian clapped a hand on Dan's shoulder and gave a squeeze. Dan pulled the older man into a hug, and thanked him. They headed back inside. Dan found Arin in his office, back to the door. Dan snaked his arms around Arin's shoulders and kissed his temple. Arin leaned back into the touch and hummed in appreciation.

"Ready to go eat?" Dan asked him. Arin nodded. Although fear was still lingering, Dan felt less nervous after talking to Brian. He'd have to have a long talk about what was going on in his head with Arin, it was only fair after all. For now, it was time for dinner as his stomach gurgled to remind him. 

\------

After dinner, thai food, Arin and Dan were curled up on Arin's couch. Same positions, new couch. It seemed like their whole life was spent on couches. Dan sat up a little to look at Arin. "I feel like we should talk. I want to be honest about what's going on in my head." Dan said. Arin nodded and sat up more, alert. Dan told Arin everything he had told Brian. All his fears about things going wrong and his own inability to keep a relationship alive. To Arin's credit, he listened intently. He was quiet when Dan finished talking, which made Dan start to panic a little.

"Danny, listen to me. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You came into my life, sat on my couch, and made yourself at home. You brought light and happiness to my life. You saved Game Grumps. With your infectious laugh and your endless crazy stories, you brought something into my life I didn't even know was missing. I realise its gonna take time for you to feel safe, but I promise, I will always love you. I will always want you. You're my world Dan. Don't ever doubt that." Arin smiled and kissed Dan on the forehead. Pink tinged both of their cheeks. Dan's eyes watered but he forced his emotions down. 

"Thank you Arin. You're right, it will take time. But for you i'm willing to try. You know what?" Dan stood up in a sudden rush of bravery that surprised even him. He grabbed Arin's hand and pulled him up too. He led Arin to the bedroom. Once there, Dan pulled his duffel bag out from under the bed and started unpacking his things. He filled the drawers Arin had emptied for him, and hung things in his half of the closet. His half. When he was done, he turned back to Arin. The younger man had tears in his eyes. Dan grabbed his hand and kissed it. "I love you Arin. You are worth facing down every fear i've ever had." They held each other close in the bedroom, as the last light of the day was chased off by the night.

\----

A year later, Dan and Arin were happy and settled in their shared house. It had taken time, almost 6 months for Dan to feel ready to move in. But he hadn't regretted it since. It hadn't been easy, sometimes his anxiety took him over again and Arin had to talk him down. Sometimes they fought, Dan lashing out from being too tired. One night on Brian's couch made him realise how much he never wanted to lose Arin. The two men slept next to each other, night slowly bleeding into morning. Dan knew it wouldn't always be easy, there would always be more fights. 

One thing he knew for sure, Arin would always be worth it. Arin was worth staying for.


End file.
